


Refusing to Love

by Angry_Moth



Series: 30 Days of Music [10]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold in the Enchanted Forest, F/M, Feelings, Love/Hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 03:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angry_Moth/pseuds/Angry_Moth
Summary: Belle thinks about her relationship with Rumplestiltskin and her feelings for him.





	Refusing to Love

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Rumpelstiltskin / Belle  
Inspired by the song: I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
> 
> _Only when I start to think about it _  
_I hate everything about you _  
_Why do I love you _
> 
> Takes place in the Enchanted Forest (before the first Dark Curse).

When Rumpelstiltskin left his dining room, Belle sighed, gathered the dishes and headed to the kitchen. After everything was cleaned, she stayed in the room even though she didn't have to. Belle just wanted to gather her thoughts in a calm place. 

“Why,” she whispered angrily, “must he be so frustrating?” Belle dropped down from the counter she was sitting on, and paced around the room. 

“One day, today for example, he is so _nice_. Acts like I’m his friend, damn it, even though he basically forced me to move here and work for him. For the rest of my life! He doesn’t have to be nice, he isn’t a nice person... What does he think he can gain from this “nice” act of his anyways?” 

Belle stopped pacing, groaned and ran a hand through her messy hair. 

_ (Why am I complaining? Him being nice is much better than him yelling at me, blaming me for everything, snapping at me for no clear reason... I like it when he’s nice.) _

“I hate him,” she whispered. “He can act nice all he wants, but,” Belle said and raised her voice a little (and hoped Rumple wouldn’t hear her), “I hate him! And I will always hate him.” 

_ (But do I, really? Or am I just trying to convince myself?) _

“He kills innocent people, enjoys tormenting and torturing others, he enslaved me and who knows how many others before me possibly, he... He casually throws insults at me and then pretends like nothing happened! How could I not hate that?"

_ (He does the same thing with compliments, though. And am I really enslaved? I almost enjoy being here. I know Rumple would torture me, or hurt me intentionally in any ways.) _

Belle sat down on the floor and banged her head against the dusty wall. “Why must he be so frustrating by making me care for him? After everything he’s done!” 

_(I don’t just care for him. I love him.) _

Belle froze. “No, no no no...” she whispered, almost silently. “That’s not an option. I hate everything about him. I hate him. 

_(Should hate. But I don’t.) _

“Why can’t I hate him..?” she asked herself, feeling defeated. Deep down, she knew she was right. She couldn’t hate Rumplestiltskin, no matter how many times she told that to herself. She was in love with the man. 

After laying on the floor for half an hour, Belle got up slowly. 

"Maybe I do love him... But that doesn't matter. I can just forget about that, right?" She sighed because even she didn't believe her words. 

"Well, as long as Rumple won't find out, I can at least ignore..." Her words were cut off by a sharp voice coming from the doorway:

"Won't find out what, exactly?"


End file.
